Shabbat Parashat Vayera 14th of Marcheshvan 5772
November 11th 2011
Shalom,
One of the most observed customs in Judaism is saying kaddish. Throughout the year of mourning, people go out of their way to make sure not to miss saying Kaddish on a daily basis. They would come to shul every day even if their usual practice has been to show up only a few times during the year. I remember Rabbi Ehrenkranz once saying how strange and sad it is that a dead parent has more influence on us than a live God. It is amazing what kind of efforts one goes through in order to daven with a minyan and say kaddish. Living in Jerusalem however, makes it a little easier. The city is full of synagogues and one can find a minyan 24/7.
Since I have a flexible schedule with some days starting with busy mornings and others working to the wee hours of the night, I found myself taking full advantage of the flexibility Jerusalem offers in finding a minyan. During the week, I daven in a place called the Shtiblach of Katamon where one can find a Minyan every 15 minutes starting at the earliest times possible to the latest.
Being a place with such a large volume of people, the Shtiblach of Katamon has to cater to the needs of many diverse people and customs. Therefore, the custom there is that there is no custom. The person that is the Shliach Tzibur can lead the davening in whatever Nusach he wishes (Ashkenazi, Sephardic, Moroccan, Yemenite Hassidic, etc.) and everyone else follows along. We all understand that "Elu V'elu Divrei Elokim Chayim" (both these as well as these are the words of the Living God) meaning all practices have the same validity or importance in the eyes of God. In the great scheme of things do we really believe that God cares in which Nusach we pray?!
If this is true, how come our literature is full of discussions and rules with regards to Nusach Hatfilah and the importance of our customs?! The reason is that most people feel more comfortable in a familiar setting. Most people daven day in and day out with the same group of people in a permanent setting with no changes at all or tiny ones at the most. Our sages therefore decided to give such emphasis to our Nuschaot.
I remember when a few years ago we switched our Shabbat Siddur from the Birnbaum to the Artscroll Edition and how challenging it was for many. People who had gotten used to layout of the page, page number and type of font now had to adapt to new ones and that is not always easy. Could you imagine what would have happened if the text would have changed and the order of the prayers in the service changed at every time?! But this is not the only reason. Because "Elu V'Elu Diveri Elokim Chayim" no practice is superior to the other and therefore it is so important to maintain the practice of one's ancestors. This is why 99% of synagogues are practicing only one Nusach Hatfilah.
Throughout the years, as evident in the Halachic response, our sages felt very strongly towards the ritual customs of the congregation in general and Nusach Hatfilah in particular. The rule of thumb is that the custom of the congregation is superior to the one of the individual and therefore, in a Minyan, one must follow the practice of the majority. I'd like to point out that we, in our shul, have several individuals who have made the change and accepted upon themselves the Nusach we use at CAS. Both David Bessaleli as well as Hecky Attar were born in Iran and therefore their original Nusach was the Sephardic one but they have adopted the Ashkenazic Nusach we use in our shul. So far I've been talking about Nusach Hatfilah in the context of the text itself, but what about other customs and practices that the congregation observes?
Two weeks ago when I was in L.A I went to daven with Tehilah's grandfather in a little Chassidic Shtibel where he's been davening for the last 50 years. I knew that Nusach Hatfilah is Nusach Sephard as used by most Chassidim but I didn't remember some of the other Minhagim. For example during the weekday Mincha and Ma'ariv, the Shli'ach Tzibur is requested not to use a Talit rather to put on a jacket and a hat. Well, since I was the only Chiyuv (has an obligation to lead davening if possible during the period of mourning) I borrowed the articles of clothes (not my size) and led the services throughout the week. While in most religious Kibbutzim, on weekdays, due to the nature of work and life style, the practice has been to daven in shorts (including the Shli'ach Tzibur) in many other shuls one would not be allowed to lead services dressed that way.
What is acceptable for one may not be for the other. These practices have to do with leading the services and therefore, since the Shlia'ch Tzibur is representing the congregation he is obligated to follow the local practice. This is why for example, even though I technically am not obligated to observe the second day of Yom Tov (since I live in Israel), as the congregation's Shli'ach Tzibur, I have to be at the same status as the congregants.
But what about the practice of the individual?! Am I allowed to daven in my own Nusach while in a shul with a different one?! Without getting to all the Halachic rulings and ramifications, generally speaking, one has to daven with the Kahal (Congregation) using the local Nusach for prayers we say together like K'dusha, and use his/ her Nusach during the silent parts like the Amidah.
When I lead services I always use the local Nusach. However when I recite the mourner's kaddish I do it as an individual and not as the leader and therefore I do it in my own Nusach. When I was in L.A. the Rebbi told me it's wrong and I should use the local Nusach even for the mourner's kaddish. I'm not sure this is the Halacha (am not sure there's only one opinion) but in my opinion it really doesn't matter. It was important enough for him to make a comment and that's should be enough for me to change my version and honor the request. After all "Elu V'Elu Divrei Elokim Chayim"
The lesson I learned is that while it is extremely important to have a set practice it is as important to have flexibility and adopt changes when needed. Often, and especially when it comes to religious practices, many become very rigid and are not willing to give up or change customs as they feel such compromise detracts from their practice. I think that the greater Kiddush Shem Shamayim (sanctifying God's name) is achieved when we think less of ourselves and more about the people around us. Even though we say God is in the details, I'm sure God is more about the big picture.
Thank you all who called and wrote to wish me a speedy recovery. Baruch Hashem I feel much better and am looking forward to see you all in shul on Shabbat.
Shabbat Shalom,
Cantor Arik Wollheim
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