Cantor Arik Wollheim

Congregation Agudath Sholom
301 Strawberry Hill Ave
Stamford, CT 06902
(203)-358-2200

www.cas-stamford.org

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Shalom From Jerusalem

 
SHALOM FROM JERUSALEM

Shabbat Parashat Acharei Mot-K'doshim Iyar 9, 5770 April 23rd 2010


Shalom,
Celebrating Yom Ha'atzmaut in Israel is a very special experience, which I have described before in this column. However, it might be a surprise to learn that the most common activity on this holiday, and the practice that is most observed, is to have a barbecue!  On Yom Ha'atzmaut it is almost impossible to find any scrap of land, a park, garden, forest, beach or even a traffic island, without finding people who are enjoying the day with a barbecue. I don't know why this has become the "mitzvah" of the day, but I suppose there is a great similarity to the 4th of July celebration in the United States. The weather is warm and pleasant, many spend the day outdoors, most are relaxed and pleased to have a day off. Most importantly, it is a lot of fun! However, I think that there is another reason why barbecues have became so popular on Yom Ha'atzmaut and the 4th of July. It is an informal activity, people can informally enjoy themselves, and have lots of good food.  It allows for peaceful, informal relaxation, and people can be brought together, "break the ice," and socialize, all at once. 
 
While living in Stamford I have found that celebrating Shabbat and holiday meals with congregants is a great way to socialize and "break the ice". I am also grateful to have the opportunity to thank all of you who have welcomed us and hosted me so many times over the years. Our synagogue is blessed with fantastic cooks,and I who never cook, really appreciate it. The warm hospitality extended is a hallmark of the Stamford community. On national holidays however, as opposed to religious ones, I made sure to use the flexibility from the day and spend the day with congregants who do not live within walking distance to the shul.

Even though my personal practice has been to eat at homes of congregants who also drive to shul on Shabbat and holidays, we are aware that halachically, or according to Jewish law, it is not that simple.  It was an evolving process in my case. I am not going to get into the halachic discussion on this topic, but I will tell you of my experience and the lessons learned from it. 
 
When I first arrived Stamford and did not yet know the community, I wondered what to do in such situations. I approached Rabbi Ehrenkranz who taught me a lesson that in retrospect, not only resolved that particular issue, but more importantly, helped me understand my role, and eventually was instrumental in determining my practice, and formulating my philosophy.

Rabbi Joe told me that there is a halacha that in case one is engaged in a meal and during the meal he/ she finds out that the standards of Kashrut are not up to that person's usual standard, or accustomed level of observance, and to refrain from eating would embarrass the host, there is no other option.  The right thing to do, the only thing to do under those circumstances, is to continue eating. In other words the Rabbis here teach us a great lesson;  the dignity of your host, or your fellow man is more important than some of our "mitzvoth sh'bein adam lamakom," or commandments between man and God.  Deliberately embarrassing another person is the gravest of sins. 

In addition Rabbi Joe told me that our congregants are respectful, knowledgeable and careful enough that I did not need to be concerned with any invitation that came my way. So my practice since has been to spend Shabbat and holiday meals with congregants who live within walking distance of the synagogue, and to spend national and secular holidays, summer parties, etc.,whenever possible,with those who live further away. 
 
Looking back I can say that this lesson and this practice has profoundly affected me, and has shaped my character as an individual as well as a member of the clergy. I was able to bond and build relationships with many people whom I am proud to call not only congregants, but friends as well This was a true lesson in establishing priorities and loving our neighbors as ourselves. It taught me about what is really important and how careful and sensitive we should all be when it comes to the dignity of others. May we all remember this lesson.
I am looking forward to seeing you all in shul on Shabbat.
Shabbat Shalom from Stamford,
 
Cantor Arik Wollheim



 
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Congregation Agudath Sholom | 301 Strawberry Hill Avenue | Stamford | CT | 06902

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